15.3.16

Todays the day!
I cannot put up with the receding hair line any more. I wake up in the morning and it looks like I've been in bed with a gorilla. The pillow has become plastered with hair. My hair!
No longer can i put up with the tickle as a hair escapes and rolls down my face and neck. I keep thinking its an insect.
No longer will i try to enjoy a meal, even if it is tasteless, whilst shouting, 'Waiter, theres a hair in my soup!'
Today i will find the clippers and release myself from all this.
Yesterday i managed to fashion a Donald Trump style wig - very tasteful. I have made a large moustache which was paraded round the kitchen whilst the dogs watched in amazement. I have made a small hat for Dottie - she wasn't impressed. And a small birds nest.
I have checked other regions.......nothing as yet. Still tarantula-esque.
So what other positives are there to being a baldy coot?
No bad hair days.
No shampooing conditioning and blow drying.
No hair dyeing.
A special fraternity with like minded people (or like headed). Solidarity.
You can sneak past people you don't like cos they don't recognise you!
You get the opportunity to wear different hats and scarves that you haven't worn all year.
You get up in the morning and you're ready to rock.
Your eyes stand out, especially if you can be bothered to put a little make up on them.
And of course, my favourite. I can play some little games. Looking strangers in the eye and seeing their reactions. Opening the front door to charity workers (even when you have a sign on the door saying no sellers or charities) and in the weakest most pathetic voice possible saying, 'helloooo.' Its strange how they scarper quicker than you can get your cheque book out!
Maybe its cruel, but you gotta have some perks to having cancer.
I did a bit of research about baldness.
Did you know, if you lost your hair at a young age you're 45% less likely to get prostate cancer! Lucky me!
Its a sign of masculinity...... this is not the effect i was hoping for.
You stay looking the same age cos you don't go grey! Im not convinced about this. I look about 100.
You have better leadership potential as you are more assertive and more powerful. Id say i'm more intolerant, but thats not quite the same.
I love this one.....baldness is linked to Badass Persona and Intelligence. I'll take that!
Booyakasha!